thanksgiving 2012

this entry is a bit belated but still, it's an annual tradition for me to write out my thanks on my blog, haha.

this year, in particular, i am so grateful for God's faithfulness in my family's lives. my uncles have been financially suffering and had to move out of their homes; but praise God, they are not homeless and are making ends meet. my mom was close to being fired -- it was between her and another worker-- but praise God that He had let her keep her job. my mom's side of the family ALL live in the bay area and this was not planned. praise God that we can celebrate thanksgiving and christmas altogether. we are so very fortunate.. i wonder if my cousins feel the same. hmm. but most importantly, my dad let my mom come with me to celebrate thanksgiving with her family. praise God for the softening of his heart. i truly hope that one day, he too, will want to be a part of mom's side of the family.

as i looked around the living room at my aunt's house on thanksgiving day, i realized how much everyone has grown, and we've seen each other grow every single year of our lives. in my eyes, my aunt's house was always humongous, but now, since all my cousins have grown, my aunt's house looks so tiny! but anyway, we are so blessed to be able to celebrate this wonderful holiday together.. every year.. and our family is growing :) one by one, my cousins are getting married.. and pretty soon, there will be little babies! haha, i hope :) oh, how exciting that will be. i really hope that when everyone gets married, we will still all meet for the holidays. of course, that will be super hard since they will have their own families and such, but a girl can dream, right?

anyways. here is our annual couch picture of me and my cousins (minus the oldest cousin who's in korea). we are all squished together. i love it.

family support

it's.. really funny to see the adults criticize so much on my cousin's fiance.

... that sentence requires an explanation, doesn't it? haha

my cousin's fiance's mom disapproves of my cousin. my extended family is completely baffled and angered by this mom's disapproval since our cousin is super smart, super gentle, super motherly, and just way too good for this boy. after my mom, aunts, and uncles found out about this boy's mom's disapproval of their niece, they have been keeping a verry close eye on him. from the way he dresses to the way he sits down, they have just been super critical (unnecessarily picky, really) of him. they look at him and say to themselves, "this boy is NOT any better than my precious niece. look at his manners. look at his clothes. look at such-and-such."

my mom has told me of all the complaints that she and her siblings have been saying about this boy. of course, i don't approve of their criticism of him (nor is the criticism even remotely reasonable) because really, he did nothing wrong -- it's his mom that disapproves of my cousin.  however, i do find it hilarious and even admirable to see so much love and support that my whole family has for my cousin.  it's.. quite awesome, to be honest.

if, by chance, my cousin or her fiance comes across my blog.. which i highly doubt.. i just want to say one thing to the fiance: don't be offended nor scared by the adults. they love my cousin and are very protective of her in the same way that your mom is being very protective of you. but not to worry, i believe that both parties will eventually grow to love the both of you :)

nature

someone asked me what i find romantic. oh my, i find soo many things romantic! (it's because i'm a girl, i'm sure) but i think.. what i truly find romantic.. is being one with nature. His creation is just so breathtaking, don't you think? and the beauty of it is so captivating.. so mesmerizing.. wherever i am, whether i'm walking along the beach or crunching on colorful autumn leaves or smelling the freshly blossomed flowers or attempting cartwheels on the luscious green grass or watching the sunrise/sunset, i can't help but fall deeply in love with Him. i find that to be the most romantic. and i think the song below gives a wonderful description of nature in its entirety. so, enjoy! :)

Secret Garden -- Powered by Nature

I’m powered by nature,

weak, but strong I stand
before the force of elements

of this wild and wondrous land.

I’m powered by nature,

And the mystery it hides

the rain and sun encircles

a synthesis of light.

I’m powered by the miracle

of the newborn budding rose

to see that spring of bloom

and everything that grows.

I’m powered by the forest

walking in the green,

where I can smell the earth

and drink the water clean.

I’m powered by rivers,

running wild, running free

from the highest mountain

down to the deep-blue sea.

I’m powered by the oceans

that calls my yearning heart

to reach for the horizon

far beyond afar.

I’m powered by snow

that covers all in white

and lets summer sleep

and slumber through the night.

I’m powered by darkness

in the long winter night

when I see a glimpse

of the faring northern lights.

I’m powered by stars

on the endless sky

light years from the earth,

much closer when I fly.

But even if I soar

in poems and songs

I must always return

to where my heart belongs.

I’m powered by moonlight

eternal ebb and flow

the rhythm of the nature

running through my blood.

I’m powered by the seasons

winter, spring, summer, and fall

the ever-changing colours

and the beauty of them all.

I’m powered by sun

shining down on me

and I am like a flower

absorbing energy.

I’m powered by wind

blowing through my hair

I’m breathing life,

breathing clean, fresh air.

I’m powered by mountains

they make me feel so small,

so I can seize the wonder

and the greatness of it all.

I know I’m not alone

here on planet Earth

I know I’m a part

of God's great universe.

I know I’m a part

of God's great universe!

hands

“people used to tell me that i had beautiful hands
told me so often, in fact, that one day i started to believe them until i asked my photographer father, “hey daddy could i be a hand model”

to which he said no way, 

i dont remember the reason he gave me and i wouldve been upset, 

but there were far too many stuffed animals to hold
too many homework assignment to write, 
too many boys to wave at 
too many years to grow, 

we used to have a game, my dad and i about holding hands cus we held hands everywhere, and every time either he or i would whisper a great
big number to the other, pretending that we were keeping track of how many times we had held hands that we were sure, this one had to be 8 million 2 thousand 7 hundred and fifty three.

hands learn more than minds do, 
hands learn how to hold other hands, 
how to grip pencils and mold poetry, 
how to tickle pianos and dribble a basketball, 
and grip the handles of a bicycle
how to hold old people, and touch babies , 
i love hands like i love people, 

they're the maps and compasses in which we navigate our way through life, some people read palms to tell your future, 

but i read hands to tell your past, 
each scar marks the story worth telling, 
each calloused palm, 
each cracked knuckle is a missed punch 
or years in a factory, 

now ive seen middle eastern hands clenched in middle eastern fists pounding against each other like war drums, each country sees theyre fists as warriors and others as enemies.

even if fists alone are only hands. but this is not about politics, no hands arent about politics, this is a poem about love, and fingers. fingers interlock like a beautiful zipper of prayer. 

one time i grabbed my dads hands so that our fingers interlocked perfectly but he changed positions, saying no that hand hold is for your mom. 

kids high five, but grown ups, we learn how to shake hands, you need a firm hand shake,but dont hold on too tight, but dont let go too soon, but dont hold down for too long, 

but hands are not about politics, when did it become so complicated. i always thought its simple. 

the other day my dad looked at my hands, as if seeing them for the first time, and with laughter behind his eye lids, with all the seriousness a man of his humor could muster, he said you know you got nice hands, you could’ve been a hand model, and before the laughter can escape me, i shake my head at him, and squeeze his hand, 8 million 2 thousand 7 hundred and fifty four.” 

― Sarah Kay

idk

i was re-reading past emails from a friend whom i haven't talked to in awhile. and as i was re-reading them, i couldn't help but wonder what happened to the friendship. are time and distance really the main culprits for friendships to slowly fade? or.. have i just become indifferent and jaded?

.. i don't really know.

rejoice!

rejoice!
rejoice!
rejoice!

for God is good. all the time.

it helps me to take a break from the busy-ness of the world and be reminded of how sovereign our Lord is. and to take a few minutes to really see the beauty of His love for us. and His compassion. and His grace.

life has been so crazy that i'm starting to have small panic attacks. i started to use my dumbphone's calendar and when i look at my calendar, each day is highlighted in red which signifies that there's something i need to do or somewhere i need to be.

i'm really thankful for the busy-ness; i really am. but being human, i still fear not being able to get everything done or not being able to time-manage. i really, really, really wish my body didn't need any sleep. if only, if only.

i've been making a to-do list for everything now -- a to-do list for work, tutoring, apps, church, errands, and even gmats. sometimes i wonder if God has His own list for me, too. heh heh, that'd be funny..

anyways. that's the end of my rambles. back to work.  :)

first interview request

as much as i'm so grateful and very much surprised at my first interview request...
i cannot help but feel totally and completely FREAKED out.
it also doesn't help that the interview will be halfway across the states.. in unfamiliar territory.. T.T

but praise God :) thankYou..

thirst for the One

Jesus gave us the Holy Spirit and the Holy Spirit gives us life.  it is by the Holy Spirit that we can experience God, that we can seek God, that we can have life and fruitfulness and salvation.

p.joe never fails to mention how we should never seek these things in other wordly goods -- he always gives the example of bf/gf.  i'll admit, it gets tiring to hear about bf/gf in almost every one of his sermons, but today, i realized.. there's a reason for a strong emphasis in that aspect. and i don't mean just bf/gf but in relationships with human beings.

we're sinners. all of us. why seek the imperfect human when there's a perfect Creator?

trust

to have COMPLETE faith in God.
to NOT be discouraged with the outcomes.
to be JOYFUL in ALL circumstances.
to BELIEVE that HIS path is the BEST road to glorifying Him and His kingdom.
to give EVERYTHING to His control.

to TRUST Him with all the above.

For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." -- Jeremiah 29:11