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yesterday, i saw a glimpse of what i would've been like without Jesus as my Savior.
without Christ, i would've been such an angry and depressed child.

thank God that i am His child.

I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I now live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me.  -- Galatians 2:20

admitted :)

praise God!

might be heading to north carolina soon...

i don't know who you are anymore, but i'm glad to meet the new you

he's never going to read this..

but i am so pleased to see his growth in Christ. each year, his relationship with Him seems to be growing ever so stronger.  i used to pray for him a few years ago. actually, i prayed for him a lot because i really wanted to see him serve our Lord, to mature into a godly man.

seeing him now, though... he's become a whole new person who is unrecognizable to me. i'm sad in the sense that i feel like i lost a part of him and who he was, but this sadness is washed away by my delight to see him become a new man in Christ. goodbye old friend. hello new brother.

if i am this pleased and proud of you, then imagine how much more pleased and proud God is of you. i'm very excited to see what extraordinary things you will be doing for His kingdom.

ily

mom called me today from work to wish me a safe trip back to sd. and at the end of the convo, she said, "i love you, jihae." and giggled.

my reply? "love you, too."

for the first time ever, we exchanged "i love you."

... woah.

mom hates male roosters

i didn't know how adamant my family members are about chinese zodiac signs. one night, i was talking to my mom about relationships and age differences. and all of a sudden, she blurted out how much she despises male roosters. out of a total of 5 male roosters whom my mom knows, 4 of them are lousy husbands in which the wives are the providers while the men are playing and not working. this has convinced her that ALL male roosters are the worst. and if i were ever to date someone, he better not be a rooster. and if i were ever to marry, well, she would rather see me single than marry a rooster. for a woman who so strongly wants to see me date/marry, it clearly shows how much she hates roosters.

i've never seen my mom so flustered and agitated. even though i find her comments quite amusing and entertaining, i was also slightly terrified, too. hul =/

keeping in touch

i was always so proud that i didn't need to talk to friends on a consistent basis because if i were to see them just once or twice a year, i would have no problem picking things up from where we left off. i always found those friendships to be quite rare and comforting.

but in the past few days, i've realized that 365 days is A LOT and so much can happen in a person's life in a single year. i feel awful that i haven't really been keeping in touch with friends, especially those who were going through one of the most difficult years of their life.

in addition to the list of resolutions i have made for 2013, i think i'll add one more -- to be more active in keeping in touch with friends.

let's do this.

i'm going to miss you, 2012..

personally, 2012 was by the far the most joyous year of my life. and i know i shouldn't be superstitious but i'm a bit terrified of 2013, mainly because of the number thirteen. it doesn't have that pleasant ring to it as 2012 does.. hum.

a few events that stood out in 2012:

-- grad apps (not yet done, though)
-- started playing a lot of bball
-- first missions trip. first time out of the country.
-- first vbs
-- momma's visit to sd. first time at seaworld.
-- being less concerned, less dependent on relationships and people
-- no encounters of bad namjs, thank God
-- learning how to let go
-- giving Him the control which helped me to be more carefree and give my whole trust to Him
-- first ballet (the nutcracker)
-- 5 weddings, including cousin annie's wedding
-- played with everyone, including the adults, on Christmas eve. the best gathering as of yet.
-- A LOT of movie marathons. batman, bourne, xmen, lotr, rush hour
-- made dumplings with pops (pops actually made mandoo with me)
-- first smartphone. woot!
-- got my dream bear, maple. thankyou bestfriend!
-- first NC trip. and my first time going on a trip and renting a hotel/car by myself
-- finally, finally explored SF. first time going on bart by myself, haha.
-- first time writing Christmas cards to my aunts&uncles.. in korean..
-- laughing a lot. i've learned to laugh at things that would have annoyed me in the past.
-- finally accepting the fact that i'm really, really weird. and after accepting this fact, i've become a little bit more confident in my identity.

out of all that has happened in 2012, my mama bear told me that this year, she has seen much growth in me, both spiritually and as a woman. her comment summarizes my 2012 because i really do feel like i've grown a lot this year, and i think it's because of my growth in Christ that i truly had an amazing, humbling year. it's very true that the more one seeks God, the more one finds pure joy.

2013.. there's a lot of uncertainty about a lot of things, but i hope that God will help me to remain calm, not be anxious/worried, but rather give everything to Him. i pray that my life will be centered on the cross, that i may not fear the unknown, and that i may continue to mature in His name. i also pray for everyone else that this new year will be a year of many laughs, hope, and blessings. happy new year, everyone :)