first day back in LA

God had prepared me for this day. and He did good.
the old has passed and the new has come.
i'm ready.

not of this world!

live for something greater!

live for someOne higher!

nobody but You!

nothing else but You!

:) You are the center of my joy~~

separated

i wonder if this is how he felt all along...

Usher -- Separated

If love was a bird

Then we wouldn't have wings

If love was a sky

We'd be blue

If love was a choir

You and I could never sing

Cause love isn't for me and you

If love was an Oscar

You and I could never win

Cause we can never act out our parts

If love is the Bible

Then we are lost in sin

Because its not in our hearts

So why don't you go your way

And I'll go mine

Live your life, and I'll live mine

Baby you'll do well, and I'll be fine

Cause we're better off, separated

If love was a fire

Then we have lost the spark

Love never felt so cold

If love was a light

Then we're lost in the dark

Left with no one to hold

If love was a sport

We're not on the same team

You and I are destined to lose

If love was an ocean

Then we are just a stream

Cause love isn't for me and you

Girl I know we had some good times

It's sad but now we gotta say goodbye

Girl you know I love you, I can't deny

I can't say we didn't try to make it work for you and I

I know it hurts so much but it's best for us

Somewhere along this windy road we lost the trust

So I'll walk away so you don't have to see me cry

It's killing me so, why don't you go

So why don't you go your way

And I'll go mine

Live your life, and I'll live mine

Baby you'll do well, and I'll be fine

Cause we're better off, separated

healing

suddenly, things seem a lot more clear..
i feel more care-free and alive..

i think i'm healing...
:)
God is good~

1 Samuel 3

two nights ago, i had a dream where "1 Sam 3" appeared.  when i woke up the next morning, i looked up the passage and it was about how God called Samuel.  before God had called out to Samuel (and at this time, he was a young boy), Samuel did not know God and He had never revealed Himself to this boy.  this passage was a pivotal moment for Samuel because he was being called by God for the first time. God spoke to him and appeared Himself before him.  after the calling, He was with Samuel while he was growing up and eventually, Samuel became a prophet of God.  at the end of the passage, it is mentioned that God had once again appeared before Samuel and He revealed Himself through His word.

a month and few days ago, i had a very powerful, poignant dream that had left me speechless and even to this day, that particular dream has left me (and those whom i've told) in wondrous awe.  i don't know where i stand in terms of spiritual gifts but i couldn't help but wonder if this was a prophetic dream?  looking back on that dream, and now looking back at my most recent dream, i wonder... is God speaking to me?

for a few weeks now, i've been indulged in prayer and His word and it's been soo good. and i've been asking for more of His word, more of His love, more of His wisdom.  anything and everything that would TRANFORM me and my heart.  anything and everything that would teach me the meaning of perfect love (1 John 4:18).  the night that i had the dream about 1 Sam 3, before going to sleep, i had prayed to God and asked Him to equip me with scripture.  and most surely, that night, He did.

this coming friday will mark the one month since the breakup.  it's definitely been... challenging and interesting. and strangely encouraging all at the same time.  friends have been saying that i've been handling it very well.  and one particular sister has commented that i'm "such a witness." (??) haha.. mm.. but aside from what others have said, i thank God wholeheartedly for keeping me strong and faithful to Him.  and now, speaking to me in ways that i had never dreamed of.

God, You are soo good.

i give all glory and praise to You~

keep making me

Sidewalk Prophets - Keep Making Me

Make me broken

So I can be healed

'Cause I'm so calloused

Now I can't feel

I want to run to You

With heart wide open

Make me broken

Make me empty

So I can be filled

'Cause I'm still holding

Onto my will

And I'm completed

When You are with me

Make me empty

'Til You are my One desire

'Til You are my One true love

'Til You are my breath

My everything

Lord, please keep making me

Make me lonely

So I can be Yours

'Til I want no one

More than You, Lord

'Cause in the darkness

I know You will hold me

Make me lonely

'Til You are my One desire

'Til You are my One true love

'Til You are my breath

My everything

Lord, please keep making...

I know You'll keep making...

Lord, please keep making me

the words to this song are so powerful. how often do we pray for such things?

"make me broken.. make me empty.. make me lonely.. keep making me"

in my whole life, i've never asked for such things. but i also never felt compelled to because through all the trials that i've gone through and will go through, i feel like each trial has made me broken, empty, and lonely.

but whether or not i pray for these things, it's my response to them that matters. do i see the beauty and the significance in my brokeness, the emptiness, and the loneliness? do i rejoice in these things, being fully aware that all these "supposedly bad things" draw me closer to God?

what a powerful prayer/song the above is. true wisdom, too.