the heart of the matter

forgiveness.

India Arie -- The Heart of the Matter

I got the call today, I didn't wanna hear
But I knew that it would come
An old true friend of ours was talkin' on the phone
She said you found someone
And I thought of all the bad luck,
And all the struggles we went through
How I lost me and you lost you
What are these voices outside love's open door
Make us throw off our contentment
And beg for something more?

I've been learning to live without you now
But I miss you sometimes
The more I know, the less I understand
All the things I thought I knew, I'm learning them again
I've been tryin' to get down to the Heart of the Matter
But my will gets weak
And my thoughts seem to scatter
But I think it's about forgiveness
Forgiveness
Even if, even if you don't love me anymore

These times are so uncertain
There's a yearning undefined
And people filled with rage
We all need a little tenderness
How can love survive in such a graceless age
And the trust and self-assurance that lead to happiness
They're the very things we kill, I guess
Pride and competition cannot fill these empty arms
And the work they put between us,
You know it doesn't keep us warm

I've been trying to live without you now
But I miss you, baby
The more I know, the less I understand
And all the things I thought I figured out, I have to learn again
I've been tryin' to get down to the Heart of the Matter
But my will gets weak
And my heart is so shattered
But I think it's about forgiveness
Forgiveness
Even if, even if you don't love me anymore

All the people in your life who've come and gone
They let you down, you know they hurt your pride
Better put it all behind you; cause life goes on
You keep carryin' that anger, it'll eat you up inside

I want a happily everafter
And my heart is so shattered
But I know it's about forgiveness
Forgiveness
Even if, even if you don't love me anymore

I've been tryin' to get down to the Heart of the Matter
Because the flesh gets weak
And the ashes will scatter
So I'm thinkin' about forgiveness
Forgiveness
Even if you don't love me anymore
Even if you don't love me anymore

i forgive you

i've been in a disheartened mood these days, and i hit the lowest of my lows last night. dang, i can become hysterical so easily. to those who witnessed my insanity: i'm so sorry.

someone hurt me a lot. but how can just one single person have such a crazy impact on me? the only person who should leave a mark on me is JESUS. freakin' a. this one human being, who is worth NOTHING at all compared to my Savior, has gravely caused me so much heartache. it's ridiculous! I'M ridiculous. I'M an idiot. I'M so stupid.

i've been so angry with a fellow child of God. i've said some hateful things about this kid and i didn't care. but is it right of me to say such things about someone who loves God so much? who God loves so much? if God can love this kid, if Jesus can die for this kid, then how in the world can i hate someone that my Holy Father loves??

so what if someone hurt me. i'm sure i hurt people all the time, too. for sure, i know i disappoint my parents over and over and over again.... and yet they forgive me when i don't deserve their forgiveness at all.

so to this kid who i've been struggling with for the past x months.... i forgive you. no longer will i be hating you but i'll be showing you love. no longer will i let you bring me pain but i'm going to find peace in you. i'm going to be a really, really good sister to you. hahaha, it's funny to imagine your facial expression when i go up to you and enthusiastically say, "hii!!!!" hehehe, you're going to be so surprised. you might not even know what to think of it. you may even be scared of it. hahaha~

love.

love.

love.

the most powerful emotion. the most difficult thing to do. LOVE.

Anyone who claims to be in the light but hates his brother is still in the darkness. Whoever loves his brother lives in the light, and there is nothing in him to make him stumble. -- 1 John 2:9-10

lead me

Brooke Fraser - Lead Me to the Cross

Savior I come

Quiet my soul remember

Redemptions hill

Where Your blood was spilled

For my ransom

Everything I once held dear

I count it all as lost

Lead me to the cross

Where Your love poured out

Bring me to my knees

Lord I lay me down

Rid me of myself

I belong to You

Lead me, lead me to the cross

You were as I

Tempted and trialed

You are

The word became flesh

Bore my sin and death

Now You're risen

To your heart

To your heart

Lead me to your heart

Lead me to your heart