crunchy leaves

i went on a trip to the east coast to visit my best friend for a week. it's my last day here in New Haven, CT and i'm pretty sad to leave this place. my east coast trip has been so relaxing and fun, but the best part of my trip was the fact that i could spend so much quality time with my friend. it was also really nice to see other familiar faces in the east, too, and it was a huge plus that i finally, finally got to jump on a pile of crunchy leaves. i'm glad i came here during the autumn season; i absolutely love seeing the yellow, orange, and red leaves gently falling from the trees.

but in 24hours, i have to go back. i really don't want to; quite frankly, i'm scared to. speaking of being scared, it seems that many of those around me are feeling a bit scared. my best friend included. it's natural to be scared of something but how you approach your fears is what matters in the end. ah, i wish i can stay here longer and spend more time with my crunchy leaves...

i'm one of them

i've been wanting them to change for some time now.

i find something wrong with them and i blame them for being who they are.

and then i wonder why i've met them, these people who are no bueno for me.

but now i see that i am no better than them.

the things that they struggle with... are the things that i struggle with.

they've come into my life not for me to change them,

but to see who i am through them;

to change myself.

am i really any better than them?

i thought i was,

but i learned that i'm not.

i struggle, too.

i struggle with my identity.

i'm constantly battling my inner demons.

but like them, i want to ignore everything and "have fun."

these people whom i've met...

i will no longer blame. i will no longer label as "bad."

because these people whom i've met...

i'm just like them.

it took me quite some time to learn this lesson,

how sinful, how wretched, how ungodly i've been.

so what to do now?

continue playing or continue praying?

it's up to me.

superman's words of wisdom

"you know what i try to remind myself when i feel like our society judges us when we don't act like the rest of the world? i ask myself, 'well, how does God see me right now?' by asking myself how He sees me, i could care less about how society views me. this comforts me because i know that at least God is pleased with me."

"ask yourself this: is he the one you would want to marry? if the answer is no, or there's hesitation when saying 'yes,' then forget about him and move on. the end."

"if he truly loves the girl, he'll respect her. no excuses."

thankyou, superman :)