believe

as kids, we often hear from our parents or teachers or mentors that they believe in us, or that we need to believe in ourselves. "Anything is possible if you just believe." ever heard this before?

but as grown-ups, we rarely hear this positive encouragement (fabricated lie?) anymore. maybe it's because we're older and we're suppose to know what we're doing? or maybe it's because as we grow older, we become subjected to reality and see that not everything is possible.

i don't know if what i'm doing is what i'm suppose to be doing. am i wasting my time right now?

i don't know how much time will pass before i accomplish what i'm doing or what i'm suppose to be doing. when will i know what i'm called to do? and how long will it take?

i don't know if i'm capable of doing what i'm doing or what i'm suppose to be doing. am i smart enough? diligent enough? wise enough?

i'm so unsure of everything and super doubtful of myself. i feel like a failure.

so i need to believe.

believe that i CAN do it, whatever "it" may be.

believe that no matter what i'm doing or what i'm suppose to be doing, i'm doing it for the right reasons and simultaneously, for the glory of His kingdom.

believe that what i'm presently doing is a part of God's bigger plan for me.

believe and be confident in the Lord.

happy

it was her birthday celebration today.

all around the table, everyone was full of laughs, full of smiles.

she seemed so happy; she knows that she is loved.

it made me really happy

to see her so happy.

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in the midst of his friends,

he was hugging her so tightly.

despite their significant height difference,

he didn't mind bending a little

just to hug her.. and keep her in his arms...

not wanting to let go.

he was smiling the whole time.

knowing that he loved her so much.

it made me really happy

to see him so happy.

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he tells everyone how blessed he is to have her,

and all the good things about her,

and how much he's changed because of her.

she tells everyone how lucky she is to have him,

and all the wonderful things about him,

and how much she's grown because of him.

"do you love him?" i asked.

she adamantly nodded her head and said,

"yes. i really love him."

"what is love to you?" i asked.

"my love is not the love defined by people but it's the love defined by God."

her reply... inspired me a lot.

and reminded me why it's so important

to know God's love,

and to be able to share that with a significant other.

it made me really happy

to witness a healthy, God-glorifying relationship.

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... just checked my email a few seconds ago.

my pastor sent a mass email out,

saying that our church will be taking up an offering for japan.

i was hoping that this email would come...

and it finally did.

makes me happy :)

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You make known to me the path of life;

in your presence there is fullness of joy;

at your right hand are pleasures forevermore.

-- Psalm 16:11

all-nighter and nosebleed

when i was a baby, i used to get sporadic spurts of nosebleeds. i bet i freaked my mom out a lot. can you imagine seeing a tiny baby happily lying on her back and then suddenly, a stream of blood comes out of her little nose? ick.

as a kid, i still got frequent nosebleeds and i never failed to get one whenever i went camping. i always got angsty on the drive to the campsite because i always anticipated a bloody nose; i even kept a bunch of napkins in my pockets just to be ready. i was especially nervous about my 6th grade camp -- a week of torture! i was afraid that my nose would bleed every day. thankfully, it only happened once but it cost me an adventurous hike with my fellow 6th graders :( my principal was kind enough to spend the afternoon with me; he even bought me strawberry ice cream on a sugar cone! sweeet.

as i grew older, i noticed that my age and my nosebleeds had now begun to share an inverse relationship. and i haven't had one since.... well, it's been a realllyyy long time. but this week, i've been studying pretty crazily and staying up really late. just last night, i pulled an all-nighter until 6am and when i came home, i went to bed and was met by my old "friend." i was so shocked. i literally looked like this --> o.O but in a very odd way, i welcomed my nosebleed because... it just shows how hard i'm studying and that i truly am giving my all.

i just hope it will be worth it in the end.