looking back on february

this month has been a whirlwind of amazing and eye-opener events. aside from gradschool acceptances, God has also provided another wonderful blessing: His seed that He has planted inside of me has finally began growing!

to clarify..

i have always been interested in nonprofits (more so interested in those that help provide education for impoverished societies). and i have always wanted to be a 2nd grade or math teacher. but my parents disapproved of the latter so i gave up on that dream and pursued accounting instead. but during college and post-college, i struggled with the idea of accounting as a profession. i didn't love numbers THAT much, i didn't care too much for working for the corporate world, and i had little, if not none, inkling of knowledge about businesses in general. yet, for some reason, God never let me fall away from the path of accounting. i had no idea why...

until now.

during these two weeks, God has exposed nonprofits and inspirational individuals to me.  as if i didn't already have so many things to think about, He has been slowly revealing to me what may lie in my future -- basically, what His purpose is for me.  all of a sudden, everything became so clear! there was finally truth and passion in the words i had written for my personal statement for gradschools, about how i wanted to serve nonprofits and underprivileged communities.  everything just makes sense now.  my heart for nonprofit, my love for education (keyword: education. does not necessarily mean schoolwork and such, haha), and my stubborn hold on accounting.  these three things can be combined altogether (!!!!) and i would be living out my purpose in life.

i am SO, SO, SO ecstatic and in tears. what i thought i had wanted so much (being a schoolteacher) is NOTHING compared to what God has planned for me. His plans, His thoughts, His ways are SOO much better than what little things i had dreamed of for myself. how incredibly true it is that only God knows what is best for us!

february has been an absolutely wonderful and profound month.  i can't WAIT to see how else He will be working in my life.

thankYou, God.

speechless

words cannot express how utterly grateful and tearfully thankful i am of being so blessed by God.

He provided my acceptance of being admitted to BOTH of my #1 graduate schools, and i am just so in awe. because you see, my grades and my gmat score are below the average of these two fine schools, and yet somehow, by the grace of God, i have been admitted to both. my initial thought was: are you kidding me.

but along with this wonderful and undeserving gift, i have also been blessed with the knowledge of genuine faith. when i first became a christian, i would claim that i had faith in Him. but it was only up until a few weeks ago that i had this HUGE revelation and conviction that i NOW have genuine faith. i can honestly say that now i see that God WILL use me for His glory and that i WILL follow the path He has set out for me. after having my own spiritual revival (it's as if i went on a church retreat by myself, haha), everything has become so much more clear. my direction, my focus, my heart... i want to give it all to Him.

a few posts back, i wrote about a friend who seemed unrecognizable to me because of his fire and passion for God. i understand him a lot better now. when i meet up with friends and share with them my recent updates, they, too, see how much i've grown and changed. i'm really encouraged to hear that.

to sum it all up, i've been so joyful. not because of my circumstances, but because of my growth and genuine relationship with Him.

praise Jesus, my eyes and heart have now been opened.

reconciliation

i truly hope that one day we will reconcile.