direction

today's sermon on "direction" by Matt JDSN was really good and it hit me hard.

post-college life has been challenging. after graduation, i was utterly confused with my future. i know i had told many people that my plans were to look for a job/internship in the accounting field while studying for the cpa exam. but then it hit me.. is this really what i want to do for the rest of my life? during the month of june, i was so lost and i think i went into "post-college depression." it had finally hit me that i'm really done with college and it's on to the next step. but i didn't know what that step was or even how to get on that step. i started questioning myself, "why am i pursuing to be an accountant? is this something i really want to do or is it because my parents approve of it?" also, with accounting, it's a very stable job and that's such a huge plus, given our economic situation right now. with that in mind, it seemed like that's what i should do.

but during my "post-college depression" (okay, not really a depression. that sounds a bit too dramatic), i began to wonder, "if i decide not to go into accounting, then what would i do? what can i do? what am i passionate about?" i really wish i had a visible skill or talent and somehow build a career out of that. har har.

however, today's message has taught me that i've been asking the wrong questions. some of the things i was reminded of was that i need to fully think through what i want in life but it should be in line with God's plan. also, i need to ask myself, "am i planning with wisdom? what's the motivation behind my plans? is it pure?" finding a direction is not enough. planning is not enough. even the purest of my plans can be subverted so i should plan in recognition that God can overturn it. i've been thinking so much about that one perfect career for "the rest of my life" when in reality, i need to be open to the possible changes in the future.

Matt JDSN did a great job reminding me of how we should trust God with e.v.e.r.y.t.h.i.n.g. we shouldn't be so consumed with ourselves and should not worry about our lives since He is with us. He is in control. Matt put it best when he said, "the best of your planning is being confidentally uncertain until God wills it."

right now, being at a spiritual low (probably the lowest of the lows), it's hard for me to have trust and to have faith. it makes me really anxious when i see that i don't have a direction. i'm so very lost... but, today's message gives me comfort and a bit of hope. i hope that God will show me my path and that i will gladly follow Him every step of the way.