can we be friends again?

when i was a little girl, i got upset very easily and i became an expert at giving STs (silent treatments) to those who i was mad at, haha. there were many incidents where my childhood best friend, bernie (short for bernadette), and i got mad at each other. but our silly anger would usually subside after lunchtime or at most a day. but one time, it lasted for a few days... or maybe even a week?? i don't know, but it seriously felt like a month... the saddest "month" of my life!

we were in second grade, so i think we were about 8 years old. i was sporting the asian bowl cut hairstyle (ughhh) while bernie's hair was very short and suited her tomboyish personality. anyway, i'm not sure what had happened at recess but i remember i got mad at her. i'm not a fighter, nor am i a confronter, so i did what i always did best -- gave her the ST.

man, i was such a brat. bernie and i had the same group of friends, so during recess or during lunch, i'd talk and laugh with the other friends while purposely making her feel excluded. this went on for several days but during those long and grueling days, i remember feeling so miserable. i missed talking and playing with my best friend. eventually, i wrote her a note that said, "can we be friends again?" and below the question, i drew a 'yes' box and a 'no' box, haha. i remember nervously handing her the note at the beginning of class. she made me wait for her answer until the end of the day. omigosh, waiting for her reply felt like an eternity! hehe, anyways. she had checked the 'yes' box, and we played happily ever after (until we went to different highschools).

why am i sharing this story when i only have a week left until my exam?

because focusing on my studies have been brutally hard. because i'm kind of going through the same thing as i had with bernie except i'm not mad at anyone and i've abandoned ST altogether. but my friendship with bernie was put on hold. and my current friendship has been like that, too -- at a halt in front of a stoplight that is reluctant to change from red to green. sigh.

(not that you'll ever read this.. but..)

can we be friends again? please?