peace&quiet

it's 9pm right now and i came to the office to have some peace and quiet. i'm so exhausted after a long day at an internship in irvine but i don't want to go home just yet. i haven't had time to myself for awhile. i've been so busy with work, tutoring, and now a new internship. my best friend is in town and my other friend made a visit to sd for 3 days this week. tonight, my best friend is sleeping over at one of her other friend's place so for the first time, in a long time, i'm able to have some quiet time to myself.

so much has happened for a month and a half now. it's all been a blur but one thing i know for sure is that i've been so amazingly blessed. i can't thank God enough for being so kind to me, for loving me, for remaining faithful to me. for the past year and a half, i was in a funk. i was depressed, anti-social, and crying myself to sleep at times. it was unbearable.

but in just a few weeks, my life has been completely turned inside out. after a year and a half of crying out to God in utter confusion and frustration, things are looking a lot better. and the best of part of it is that i am doing a lot better -- mentally, physically, emotionally.

but i'm still human. i'm still fighting my inner demons. and there are things i'm still unhappy with. but what i've been learning after graduating college is that i can't give up. i need to keep fighting. and i need to remain strong. it's seriously by God's providence that i'm still alive and that i'm still fighting. without Him, i don't know what i would live for and why i would live.

dear God,
thank You for remaining faithful to me. there were so many instances when i was so angry at You and i was trying to understand what Your purpose was for me. but now i see that you were building me up during the past year and a half. i see it now, God. and i thank You so much.