wedding planning

... is stressful.

but in the end, i think you'll look back and say..

"it was worth it."

a new friend

i made a new friend :)

i really like her. she's so sweet and so good.

but what i really like about her is her joy in God.

there was a twinkle in her eyes as she spoke so lovingly about Him..

and she couldn't stop smiling..

ahh, it was very refreshing to see.. :)

don't settle

i don't want to settle for less-than-perfect.

go away

why is it always and only the 'bad ones' who are interested..

regardless, i'm sticking to my vow.

... or should i just go and live at a convent?

mayonnaise jar & 2 cups of coffee

this is copy/pasted from a sister's tumblr page. i like it a lot.

"When things in your life seem, almost too much to handle,
When 24 Hours in a day is not enough,
Remember the mayonnaise jar and 2 cups of coffee.

A professor stood before his philosophy class
and had some items in front of him.
When the class began, wordlessly,
He picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar
And proceeded to fill it with golf balls.

He then asked the students, if the jar was full.
They agreed that it was.

The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured
them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly.
The pebbles rolled into the open Areas between the golf balls.

He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was.

The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar.
Of course, the sand filled up everything else.
He asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with a unanimous ‘yes.’

The professor then produced two cups of coffee from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar, effectively
filling the empty space between the sand. The students laughed.

‘Now,’ said the professor, as the laughter subsided,
‘I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life.
The golf balls are the important things - family,
children, health, Friends, and Favorite passions –
Things that if everything else was lost and only they remained, Your life would still be full.

The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, house, and car.

The sand is everything else —The small stuff.

‘If you put the sand into the jar first,’ He continued,
there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls.
The same goes for life.

If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff,
You will never have room for the things that are important to you.

So…

Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness.
Play With your children.
Take time to get medical checkups.
Take your partner out to dinner.

There will always be time to clean the house and fix the disposal.

‘Take care of the golf balls first —
The things that really matter.
Set your priorities. The rest is just sand.

One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the coffee represented.

The professor smiled
‘I’m glad you asked’.

It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem,
There’s always room for a couple of cups of coffee with a friend.’"

insomnia

i have it.

this is week two.

hopefully it doesn't go into week 3 or 4 or more.

maybe i'm being punished.

pure

adj. free from tainting or polluting matter; clean; wholesome; free from moral taint or defilement

synonyms: unmixed, unadulterated, unalloyed, uncontaminated, untainted, unstained, undefiled, untarnished, immaculate, unpolluted, uncorrupted

breathe

i had a verrry niiceee 2.5 weeks at home for the holidays. now, i'm back in sd which means back to reality! i wrote a loonggg list of things to do for the first half of 2012 and ohhmyyy, i'm already so overwhelmed. i'm having little panic attacks...

breatheeee....

one day at a time....

trust.in.Him.

yes? no?

me: "what is your new year's resolution?"

friend: "to be honest with myself"

i really like this. ever since the day i heard my friend's reply, i've been thinking on it a lot. how often are you honest with yourself.. how often are you true to yourself..

"... i don't think you know what you want... a lot of us don't know what we want.."

i've been hearing this a lot, too. and i think there's a lot of truth to it. more and more i'm beginning to see that i really DON'T know what i want. my imperceptible goals seem to be beyond reach and blurry. who i am but who i want to be are in paradox, leading to denial and occasional identity crises. who i acquaint myself with but the person(s) i want to be involved with are often contradictory. i am just a walking oxymoron.