we are growing up

whenever i hear my guy friends talk about what they would do for their future wife, or how they would propose, or what they would want their wife to be like, i can't help but smile and find it so endearing. BUT. at the same time, i find it soo weird to hear these guys talk about their future wife so nonchalantly, so casually. i mean, i shouldn't be surprised to hear anyone talk about their future someone because we all are growing up. and having a future someone is a part of life; it's normal. and most people would argue that the next step in life, after finding a job, is marriage. so then, why do i feel so weird when i hear anyone talk about their future significant other? is it because i still may possibly be very young at heart and see myself and every one of my friends as young kids rather than adults? or is it because i'm not comfortable to talk/hear about the possible existence of a future husband in my own life? hmm.. for whatever reason it may be, i need to get used to hearing the terms, "wife/husband," from my friends. they're just growing up.

as always

right before a big exam, i always find myself logging onto blogger and fleshing out all my thoughts onto my online journal. why is that so? shrug.

i'm a little nervous for my test, but i'm also unusually calm about it. i know i'm going to have to retake it to get my ideal score (ideal? or just plain unrealistic?) and i'm actually okay with that. i wouldn't mind taking the exam again, and i've also very well accepted the fact that i'll have to take the newer version of it (why do these exams keep changing, anyway? how annoying).

all in all, i just want to do my best. and leave everything up to Him. and trust that He will take care of me.

d.rose

my first time seeing his smile.

he rarely ever smiles.

so, this is a very special treat.

he's hot. i like him. a lot.

my bucket list

my best friend made a bucket list and i thought it was a pretty cool idea. i never heard of a bucket list before and i don't know why it's called a bucket list... why a "bucket?" hmm.. well, anyway, i figured i'd start on my very own list because i love lists and i think they're so fun to create, haha. here's my work-in-progress in no particular order:

-- explore a cavern to see the stalagmites and stalactites
-- go star-gazing
-- go fishing
-- go on a hike
-- ride a horse
-- attend a celine dion concert
-- travel to europe
-- make an impact on someone's life
-- see the niagara falls
-- verbally say those 3 little words to my parents
--give my dad a hug-- see my family come to Christ
-- take a cake baking/decorating class
-- take a painting class
-- take my mom on many trips (she wants to explore the world)
-- see my relatives all together in one place
-- buy a lottery ticket (i still can't believe i haven't bought one yet)
-- be able to successfully rap a song
-- see jeremy lin play LIVE!!
-- see derrick rose play LIVE!!
-- go to a lakers game
-- be super involved at church (whether it's at Hope or elsewhere)
-- read the whole bible (my one-year reading plan has been going well so far!)
-- participate in a nonprofit organization
-- sponsor a child(ren)
-- complete my pooh bear 1000-pieces photo mosaic puzzle
--explore SF (i'm from the bay and i have yet to explore SF -.- )-- try out the many baking/cooking recipes that i've accumulated over the years
-- host a fancy dinner party for my friends and go all out! (now i definitely need to learn how to cook, haha)
-- host either a thanksgiving or christmas dinner for my relatives
-- grow my own tomato plant (i got this idea from a '90s k-drama, "tomato," haha!)
-- attend an african american church service (i love gospel music!)
-- fly a kite
-- go to an observatory and look through the huge telescope (i love astronomy)
-- see the bioluminescent red tide that creates glow-in-the-dark ocean waves
-- make a snowman
-- go strawberry picking (or any type of fruit-picking)-- spoil my cousins' and closest friends' future babies (haha :D)
-- watch jabbawockeez perform LIVE

... this is my list so far. there are a lot more things i'd like to do (some that i shall not list because they're either too cheesy or embarrassing, or just because i don't want to, hehe :P ) and i'm sure i'll come back to this list and add things here and there. i hope that when i come back to this list in the later future, i'll be able to cross off some of these activities, especially those that involve family :)

the beauty of aging

"as you become older, you begin to grow more comfortable under your own skin. i think this is one of the beauties of aging" -- a sister from Hope

i think this is true. as each year passes, i'm becoming just a little bit more confident and a little less shy and intimidated of people. and i'm learning a lot of this from the ongoing and cyclical changes, and the diverse ethnicities of the young adult group at Hope.

i smile :)

"Today's a new day, but there is no sunshine.

Nothing but clouds, and it's dark in my heart,

and it feels like a cold night.

Today's a new day, but tell me where are my blue skies,

where is the love and the joy that You promised me

You tell me it's alright.

 

(The truth is)

I almost gave up, but a power that I can't explain (the Holy Ghost power, yo)

fell from heaven like a shower now.

I smile, even though I hurt, see I smile,

I know God is working so I smile,

Even though I've been here for awhile,

I smile, smile..

it's so hard to look up when you've been down.

Sure would hate to see you give up now

You look so much better when you smile"

-- Kirk Franklin, "I Smile"

movies & moscato

considering that i have 3 weeks until the big day, i don't think i should be having movie marathons (watched  the "Lord of the Rings" and the Bourne trilogy) while enjoying a bottle of sweet moscato. but this weekend was an exception (thank you, Good Friday and Easter. but ultimately, thank You, God), and it will be my last weekend of merriment until the end of this month. after tonight, no more movies and no more moscato. it will be all about the G to the M to the A to the T.

... dang, i want a good score soo badly... 

thankyou

i don't think i'll be going back to fb world anytime soon. i feel more liberated and a lot happier without it. and although it's a great tool for keeping in touch with people, i personally don't feel like i'm out of reach for any of my good friends. and for these friends, i am ever so grateful for their consistent efforts in keeping in touch. thankyou :)