be loving

my friend loves to ask questions starting with, "on a scale from 1 to 10...," and his favorite question to ask me is, "on a scale from 1 to 10, how much do you miss me?" and my favorite reply is, "you're in the negatives. far below 0." hahaha, i'm kidding, of course :)

yesterday's sermon was about loving people and forgiving everyone. as children of God, who dearly loves us now matter how wretched we are, we are called to be compassionate, kind, forgiving, gentle, and patient, and binding all these virtues with love (colossians 3:12-13). when i was listening to the sermon, i felt very uncomfortable and slid lower and lower in my seat because my heart was bursting with so much guilt and shame. i asked myself, "on a scale from 1 to 10, how loving am i?" and my answer was the same as i had answered my friend -- i am way below the zero mark, drowning in the negatives. 

my pastor asked this question, "what's the point of loving only those you who love you?"

... stab.

ouch.

sigh. to be loving. it's.. not easy. but..
i should try harder.
i want to try harder.
i will try harder.

Dear God, thankYou for showering me with Your unconditional and steadfast love. please help me to be more compassionate, more kind, more forgiving, more gentle, more patient, and more loving. please fill my heart with a strong and urgent craving for all these beautiful virtues so that i may strive to be more like You. amen.