dear dad,
you are so consumed in your anger and hatred for others that you have dug yourself into a very deep and bottomless hole, and i'm afraid you will possibly never come out of it. it's actually very saddening and upsetting that you have completely lost your way in this dark abyss and have no desire to seek the the warm light that is at the top of this hole. if you could just climb upwards a little bit, and inch your way towards the top, you could finally see that life is not meant to be ugly and miserable, but that life CAN actually be quite benevolent and delightful. if only you weren't so blinded by your stubbornness, if only you could stop self-attacking yourself and blaming others for your fall, if only you could forgive those who have hurt you in the past (and i mean in the wayyy past), and if only you could just, for once, lower your pride and humble yourself before others... if only you could do all these things, then maybe you can finally breathe and be free of all negativity and bitterness.
all i can do, dear dad, is to pray for you, and to pray that you will someday be liberated from the chains of fury. i pray that your blackened, hardened, and scarred heart will be blanketed with a peaceful, softened, and renewed heart that will sing with a beautiful melody as opposed to the cacophonous noises that it currently pounds. and i pray, from the bottom of my heart, that the demons inside of you will not win and overtake you, but that the Holy Spirit will come into your life and defeat these hellish creatures who have possessed your soul for so many years. but, my dear dad, it is up to you to make a choice: to live with your filthy hatred until your dying day, or to be freed from your captivity and live in harmony, as hard as it may be to do. i pray that you will make a wise decision and the right decision because it will not only affect you, but it will affect me and mom. for although you ferociously argue that your hatred for others does not apply to us, it actually does hurt us very much and leaves us to tears many, many times. you do not know how much sorrow and pain you have caused us, and how much heartache you still continue to bring upon us. it isn't fair, dear dad, but then again, the purpose of this letter is not to say what is and is not fair. nor is the purpose of this letter to seek an apology or sympathy from you. no. the purpose of this letter is to express my deepest wishes and prayers for you.
may you please open your heart, even just a tiny crack, to allow my God inside of you, to heal you and to save you from drowning further into the hands of the evil one. this is my ultimate prayer for you.
your one and only daughter,
me
