oh, LA..

my summer program is ending in 4 days, with one of the days being a "field trip" to nestle.

thankYou, Lord, for helping me persevere this summer. You helped me survive.. thankYou, thankYou..

as i reflect on the summer program, i can't help but be very grateful for the experience. yes, i cried and whined a lot in the first 2.5 weeks, but every day, God always reminded me of why He brought me here and what His plans are for me. i still think about the earlier part of this year and how God so smoothly paved the way for me to come to LA. and now that i'm in LA, He is still providing immensely. i'm soo amazed by His love and care for me. and i'm so deeply thankful to my family and friends who have been so supportive and encouraging -- it truly means a lot to me :)

with that said, my school wants me to decide by tomorrow one city in which i want to work in after i graduate in may (assuming i'll be graduating within a year). whichever city i choose, i'll most likely have to live there for at least 2 years. when i first came to LA, my initial thoughts were, "i want to get the hell out of here." those who know me know how much i didn't want to come here. i never, ever wished to live in LA which is also the only reason why i chose ucsd over ucla, even though ucla had a strong accounting major and ucsd had no accounting major (oh, how i screwed myself over with a very foolish decision..). and then, i was faced with LA vs North Carolina.. man, that was a tough decision. but unlike my decision for undergrad, i prayed for God's decision. and as much as i wanted to avoid LA, i knew He wanted me to come here.

and so, i'm faced with another difficult decision.. where to work. when i first joined this program, i had my heart set on the bay area. not because i love the bay, but because i wanted to flee LA. and although i haven't prayed much about this situation, i already know which city God wants me to choose. but man, i am just not at peace with it. but i want to be at peace with it. i want to be enthused about this city. but i can't seem to overcome my fears about this place. sigh. i feel as though i'm Jonah.. =/