last day

today was my last day of volunteering. it was a good and busy last day. i'm really thankful that i had the opportunity to help people with their taxes, and it's been really encouraging to meet such a diverse group of people. my heart goes out to all of my clients. a majority of them were unemployed, some of them worked 3 to 4 jobs to feed their big families (two families had 5 children!), one was disabled, another was mugged and left with nothing, and the list goes on.

when i think back on my clients, i feel so ashamed of who i've been as of late -- constantly worrying about my finances, stressing about my exams, feeling distant from everyone around me. i feel like this is what God has been saying to me these days: "really, selena? your worries are nothing compared to these people. you have a home, you have a family, you have ME. isn't that enough? I love you so much that I saved you from eternal damnation. doesn't that mean anything to you at all? why have you been so devoted to your earthly desires when really, you should be devoted to Me? where is your trust? your faith? your love?"

He's right. i have so much to be thankful for, so much to be joyful about. yet, because of my selfishness and ungratefulness, i've been wallowing in anxiety and despair. oh, how my human heart so easily succumbs to the worldly things.

Do not love the world or anything in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For everything in the world -- the cravings of sinful man, the lust of his eyes and the boasting of what he has and does -- comes not from the Father but from the world. The world and its desires pass away, but the man who does the will of God lives forever. -- 1 John 2: 15-17