fulfilled

in the present, there are three things i want to become:

(in no particular order)

1. a godly woman

2. a loving daughter

3. a loyal friend

(#4 and #5 will be in the way future)

i've been praying for these three things (on and off) during the past 2+ years, and one by one, they are being fulfilled. it hasn't been easy, but still, they're being fulfilled.

the trial for #2 has already come. the hardship happened over winter break, and it's not completely over, but now i know that God had presented me this past ordeal to show me how to be a loving a daughter. and since this revelation, my relationship with my parents have been amazingly better.

the trial for #3 just happened a few days ago. it seriously came out of nowhere! and it was definitely a heartbreaking period. at first, i thought that the situation was unnecessary, and i was frustrated that it had to happen. but more and more, it's becoming clear to me that God was using this opportunity to challenge my loyalty to a friend. i could've easily taken the easy road, taken the money, and "betray" a friend. if i had, i wouldn't be stuck looking for a new place to live, worry about extra expenses & paperwork, finding new roommates, and etc. and i wouldn't have to deal with all of this during a crucial time in my life. but no. i knew that the right thing to do was to be loyal to my good friend. a few hours after my crying session, it dawned on me that God was only helping me to fulfill my #3. crazy, huh? doing the right thing is always the hardest thing to do.

and finally, my #1. God gave me the courage to speak to my pastor's wife and to seek help. He has been bombarding me with so much misery all at once, knowing that eventually, i would break. and it worked. so, yesterday at church, i decided to join the "bears and cubs" program. one of the married women would be the "mama bear" and the "cub" would be a younger sister. my "mama bear" is the pastor's wife. ah, i'm still very nervous about being her "cub" only because of her title. but i know it will be good. and i know that God will use her to fulfill my #1.

you know, i used to wonder why every "bad" thing would have to happen all at once. i remember saying, "man, such bad timing!" but then i think about it more and i come to the understanding that there's a reason why everything happens all at once. there's no such thing as a "bad timing" because... God controls time. it's by His timing that things happen. and God is always so good; thus, His timing is always good, too.

thank You, Father...

Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him. But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. -- James 1:2-6